Suspicions of an international conspiracy are thought to lead to the assassination attempt of Team Wooly Mammoth super domestique Kamot Baginski. It is believed that the same elite hit team who recently carried out the assasination of a top Hamas commander in Dubai are connected with the attempt on Baginski. Here they are in Dubai posing as tennis jerks.
Fortunately for the super star cycling hero, Kamot survived the murder attempt with only a broken tooth and a few stitches. His bike suffered minor cosmetic front end damage.
Questions arise as to weather the plane that crashed into Giuseppe Von Slatesonvalds north Austin offices Thursday morning is also linked to the death squad. Slatesonvald was quoted "I had bad feeling and left office. My instinct was a bit premature however as I left there four years ago, blessings be to Oden."
Authorities have begun a full criminal investigation. Suspects range from any number of jealous opponents of Austins racing teams, especially those well financed by telecom and medical companies.
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